Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Lump In My throat

When I was little I was extremely shy. Unless it was family or someone I really knew, my lips were sealed. I use to not even be able to order dinner whenever my family went out to eat.

I am happy to say that I am no longer that shy. I can order my own food and even ask a stranger for direction at a bus station or the airport. However one thing still lingers from my shyness as a youth and that is public speaking. I hate it!! I don't think it is so much the crowd that scares me but more my occasion lisp that creeps in when I get nervous or am in a hurry.

Today I am speaking in Church. Oh lucky me. It has been almost 3 years since I have had to speak in church and I am really not looking forward to it. Again mainly because of my lisp but also the tears. If you know my family even a little you know we are not afraid to cry. I cry when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am angry or pissed, and occasionally after getting hurt. So when it comes to speaking in front of other and bearing my testimony I tend to cry. My voice shakes, my lisp is magnified and I then I get embarrassed. All week I have had this lump in the back of my throat and I know it isn't from getting sick but more the fact that I have to speak. Oh dear, what a week.

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