I have come to the conclusion that one of the worst kind of days is an "off day." What is an off day you ask? We have all had them, it is the day when things aren't terrible but they're not great and life just seem off balanced for no apparent reason. They are the days where you just don't feel like putting on the show any more and just don't want to smile at every tom, dick, harry, and Mormon that passes. I have found that off days just isn't an emotional thing but a physical thing too, your heart truly feel lower in your chest and it is about to explode. It seem like I have been having a lot of off days lately, with an occasional good day, a bad, and then the worst kind of day. It would make sense that as the time approaches to go Home the days would be easier to get through and and happier, but it not the case. I feel more sad and anxious. There have been several occasion when my parents have almost received a phone call in the middle of the night with me begging to come home that minute, screw finals. But I keep telling myself that leaving before finishing would be the easy way out. Life wasn't made to be easy.It is one week. I can manage one week.
I am excited to come home. I cant wait to see my family and friends. My sisters and I have a list of all the things we want to do this summer. I really don't care if we do a single thing on that list has long as we have fun and can be crazy and can be ourselves.
I am ready to say goodbye to BYU Hawaii for a while. I am tried of playing games. I am ready to break the mold. I want to feel like myself again, I am tired of the loses lose situation. As you can tell I haven't had the day off rather just an off day.
4 comments:
I am sorry to hear about your day. I know what you mean though the closer you get to getting out and going home the more anxious you feel, Is there anything that would help get your mind off it? are you all packed? Maybe go buy a gift for Downey! I dont know just some ideas, or start a project that you HAVE it get done before you can leave. I am happy for you that you are so excited to get home I am sure everyone is so excited to see you! Downey included. Hang in there it will all be a memory real soon.
Hey kiddo - Hang in there! In the mission we called it "Getting Trunky" and it sucks! The last week before you go home is the WORST but even though it will be the slowest too, it will be over before you know it and like Rach said, it will all just be a memory.
HANG IN THERE!!
My poor Miqui! I will come and get you at the airport right now. But as your older most knowledgeable (and most beautiful) sister, I have to tell you that I've tried the "screw finals" approach and it comes back to bite you in the ass. One week and then we will hit the roller coasters I promise!
BLOG MORE!
Post a Comment